Dec 2017
It was the very first date I had been on since my divorce.
If I am being honest, this first date happened while I still lived with my ex and we were not yet divorced.
I made sure to really try and put myself together for once.
I got my hair done, wore high-heels, low-cut shirt, my tightest skinny jeans.
I got to your house too early because my ******* GPS said it would take an hour when it only took 30 minutes.
I hug you and the smell of you makes me feel like home, which is both exhilarating and odd in the weirdest sense.
I brought you your favorite candy because I am a ******* psychopath who cares too much.
You smile and thank me.
You hop in the shower and I sit in your room, admiring all of your collections, your well-made bed.
Your room smells of *** and cologne and it makes me want to crawl in your bed and sleep for days.
Once you’re done, you take me to dinner. We order food we both end up hating but laugh because we are both too friendly to tell the waitress it tastes like ****.
You ******* drink, I taste yours.
You talk all night and even though that would normally bother me, you exude a confidence and sexuality that I have never encountered.
I’ve never slept with someone on the first date before and all I can think about is your smile and that if you ask me to go home with you, I will say yes.
You take me to the water and we sit on a bench for hours just talking and laughing.
It’s cold and I am shivering but all I want to do is kiss your sweet mouth.
It’s 3 am and you stand up.
I shudder.
I have been kissing the same man for so long that I am not sure I will know how to handle what happens next.
You hold your hands out and pull me up and I almost fall because I am wearing heels and my legs are frozen.
You pull me close and grab my face.
That kiss.
Your mouth was hot and your hands were cold and in the moment you kissed me, I immediately forgot about all the pain I had been in previously.
We walk back to your car and you take me to your house. On the front porch, I smoke a cigarette, while you smoke a blunt. I grab your shirt and pull you in to kiss me. Everything feels right. Everything feels safe. We go inside, and my knees shake. You lay on the bed and you look exhausted-not to mention that you have work in 5 hours. I tell you that I have to leave and you ask me if I want to stay.
If I am being honest, this first date happened while I still lived with my ex and we were not yet divorced.
I made sure to really try and put myself together for once.
I got my hair done, wore high-heels, low-cut shirt, my tightest skinny jeans.
I got to your house too early because my ******* GPS said it would take an hour when it only took 30 minutes.
I hug you and the smell of you makes me feel like home, which is both exhilarating and odd in the weirdest sense.
I brought you your favorite candy because I am a ******* psychopath who cares too much.
You smile and thank me.
You hop in the shower and I sit in your room, admiring all of your collections, your well-made bed.
Your room smells of *** and cologne and it makes me want to crawl in your bed and sleep for days.
Once you’re done, you take me to dinner. We order food we both end up hating but laugh because we are both too friendly to tell the waitress it tastes like ****.
You ******* drink, I taste yours.
You talk all night and even though that would normally bother me, you exude a confidence and sexuality that I have never encountered.
I’ve never slept with someone on the first date before and all I can think about is your smile and that if you ask me to go home with you, I will say yes.
You take me to the water and we sit on a bench for hours just talking and laughing.
It’s cold and I am shivering but all I want to do is kiss your sweet mouth.
It’s 3 am and you stand up.
I shudder.
I have been kissing the same man for so long that I am not sure I will know how to handle what happens next.
You hold your hands out and pull me up and I almost fall because I am wearing heels and my legs are frozen.
You pull me close and grab my face.
That kiss.
Your mouth was hot and your hands were cold and in the moment you kissed me, I immediately forgot about all the pain I had been in previously.
We walk back to your car and you take me to your house. On the front porch, I smoke a cigarette, while you smoke a blunt. I grab your shirt and pull you in to kiss me. Everything feels right. Everything feels safe. We go inside, and my knees shake. You lay on the bed and you look exhausted-not to mention that you have work in 5 hours. I tell you that I have to leave and you ask me if I want to stay.
