on this cold august morning
i feel melancholy because
i gave  love away to one man while
thinking of another man whose
heart sadly belongs to a kind woman whose bones show
all the way through her skin and whose face always looks
tired and mouth is
creased at the edges
and always billowing earnestly.

i gave love away again
body stained in blueduskhalflight
heart a plump and cold and wild piece
of fruit splitting
and juicing sweetly and silently within me.

i carved a space for myself in the flesh
of a man i barely know but find beautiful.
that is good enough reason for me by now.

i used to wait for the feeling of urgency and
hope one swallows
when beginning what they think will be the end.
the first moment of a body is a holy moment when you
think it will be the last body.

all the soulful forms i once treasured like heirlooms
now lie still
gathering dust in warped memory rooms-
they stay young and foolish and hopelessly recklessly gorgeous
they stay freshly freckled smooth watery eyed and kind hearted,
while i grow wise and brown with years and vicious with years
my collection of ghosts
preserve in their sleepily curling hands
some ****** up perfect version of loveandforever
that i once concocted

not so long ago it seems.