Nearly two decades on this earth and the only time I felt love,
it brought pain so intolerable that I bid to myself that I would find love in anything other than human connection.
Yet, age and time has aided in my healing and now I'm filled to the brim with an inconceivable amount of love.
Part of me wants to experience love in the ways that I once felt it, even if the pain will leave injury too deep to heal.
Yet, now that I am older, I know that love isn't supposed to hurt more than it is suppose to heal.
And my mind no longer consists of spiral steps and puzzles.
Two decades on this earth and I have finally begun to understand my emotions..
I have molded myself into someone who is able to give and receive love. I have become someone who is able to become vulnerable without opening airways for toxicity to seep in.
Two decades and I am ready to immerse myself in someone. To uplift someone in the ways that I wish people would have for me, to love in the way that I have never been, and to groom and harvest roots that grow for years.
Now that I am older, now that I have healed from the first, I bid to myself that I will unapologetically love. I will do it with everything in me. I will do it right, I will love raw and whole.