I was thinking about God and how she made me flawed
I can't help but be mad
I watch artists paint beautiful portraits, each brush stroke precisely calculated to make a masterpiece
And I can't help but feel like I'm just the canvas that got torn
I'm self destructive

I watch my parents age and I think that one day they will leave this world nothing but a house and a son thats just kind of "eh"
I love my parents
My dad is my hero, my mom is my heart
I'm self destructive

It's crazy to think about how many friends I've lost
It's even worse that with the friend group I have now, I still don't feel accepted
I feel like the reflection in a fun house mirror standing in front of my peers and I can't help but fall further deep into my deflated self imagine
I'm self destructive

I loved her.
I had to leave because I let me walls down
I had to leave because she saw me
I had to leave because I cannot be left
I'm self destructive

The sandwich bag of pills in my sock drawer gets less and less full
I can't tell if I have a problem yet so I just assume I don't


I'm self destructive