I am empty.
Watching fingers pull,
My severed wrists across the floor,
The ragged flesh torn.
Violent separation,
As birth into this world.
Each scarred and broken hand
Slow slithering crawl,
Haunting me with failure.
Black paths trail,
And threats breathe,
The release of demons.
These hands that I cut from my own self,
To keep the visions away,
Bloodied I prayed,
For the words to stop.
To erase every memory,
Every syllable.
Be rid of these limbs,
Instruments of self deceit.
To become,
Normal.
That my eyes, my mind,
My heart,
To follow suit.
And I,
To be free,
At peace.
I have spilled blood for eternity,
Paid the toll for salvation,
Again and again.
Yet I am wretched.
My head swimming in lies,
Drowning in truths.
Cursed to live in twisted misery.
Whispers through the crack,
Under the door that
Fill my ears.
The stain of loss,
Upon my clothes.
And your every word,
Bitter upon my tongue.