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Nov 2017
I'm more than alright
Good and going
Remembered your touch just once
Maybe a few times
Maybe more than often
Or maybe in every heartbeat.
So much it hurt painfully
But when you've lost purpose
Everything becomes bearable.

Still stare at the mirror
Imaging your dear reflection behind my own
Walk right on in and I'm smiling
Sudden pulsating turnaround
And it's not you there - just empty space.
But when no reflection seems beautiful enough
Everything becomes bearable.

So I continue staring into empty space
At the plain coffee table, all alone
Gorgeous eyes materialise before mine
And a reassuring smile
Whispers 'Told you I'd be back.'
Instinctive fingertips reaching out
Caress the cheek like I once used to
But thin air is all it is
Daydream is all it is
Fooling visions and wishes
Illusionary, yet so pretty
You're there but you're really not.
But when any exisiting thing
Feels fake at the touch
Everything becomes bearable.

Still wonder about you in the afterlife
How your ghost keeps coming back
Perhaps you're in a better place now
Perhaps you're not even real anymore.
But when every coming day
Passes by like a movie
Everything becomes bearable.

Crying to sleep each night
Clutching tight old t-shirts and frames
What went has gone for good
But the past doesn't go away.
Memories and nostalgia
Nauseating yet addicting
Adrenaline running high
Then floods back down with regrets
But when you've begun counting breaths
Everything becomes bearable.

They think I've gone crazy
Smiling at what doesn't seem funny
Addicted to what isn't very pleasant
Talking to who doesn't really exist
And it doesn't **** you
It takes you.
But when opinions stop counting
No tear comes a surprise.
When pain isn't a word in your dictionary
Everything becomes bearable.

Wasting away at tearfuls
Vapourising at the flick of each bottle
It isn't pain that has displaced my roots
It's just you.
But when sweet and bitter taste the same
Everything becomes bearable.
When you'd rather pause than see another day
Everything becomes bearable.
Jiya Verma
Written by
Jiya Verma  14/F
(14/F)   
245
   Lior Gavra
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