I farted today in public
I did not have a choice
I'm pretty adept at farting
Without making any noise
I'd already farted
A couple times
And they'd passed the ol' smell check
So when I had to **** in the meeting
I thought "oh what the heck"
But this time it smelled
Like a beach at lowest ride
Ugh, why did I have to do this
When we were all inside
I wrinkled my nose
You know how it goes
And pretended it wasn't me
But how does one distance themselves
From a smell reeking so noxiously
I tried to look innocent
As a girl could be
I did all I could, short of saying
"Peeeeeyoooou, that wasn't me"