A long wet hot summer
Like rapid waves of grey and blue
Brushing off the residue
Forming around the crevice of my lips
All of a sudden feeling new arms
New limbs.

Like that feeling they talk about
In the songs that you sing along to
While the young boys strum imaginary guitars
And the girls clad themselves in heart eyed
Daisy shapes
And we long for that feeling
That crashing up and down feeling
Of what it is to fall in love.

I suppose its true
I've had it more than a handful of times
Briskly walking the other way
When I had outgrown my lover
One eye ahead
And one eye back
Because I was that girl
With heart eyed daisy shapes
Believing all of her self worth and value
Was indicated and preserved
Like all the gold and silver
Perhaps some bronze too
That lines the walls of my Alabama
Childhood room.

I'm a grown woman now
Though I still feel very much like a child
At times
Kicking and screaming
Through an embryo swan like dive
Befriending and acknowledging all of my sides
And traipsing around trying to remember
Gratitude.
Choice.
Presence.
Sincerity.
Resilience.

Tha­t crashing up and
Crashing down
Its a feeling we long for
I see it in others
I've seen it in myself
I wonder when it will find me again
And when I will let it.