I so badly want to be a galaxy filled with constellations from a different universe.
I so badly want to see a different sun. Taste a different ocean.
Feel a different moonlight.
I crave new experiences, but I so badly want to be that new experience.
I've grown so tired of my mistakes
I've grown so tired of my regret.
Of mountains of memories I wish I could forget.
My fingers are like matches constantly trying to burn everything of my past and my tongue like water extinguishing the flames.
Instead filling the buckets of regret.
I am actions on actions of please, god, no.
I am living in the moment and never enjoying as much as I lead people to believe.
Someone take me somewhere else.
Let me become someone else.
I no longer know what I've become, all I am aware of is that I'd rather suffer an unknown destiny on the sun than continue to suffocate in my regrets.
I do not ponder like man on moon.
I do not swallow suns.
I do not spit fire or breathe poisonous gas.
I am neither soft cloud, nor hard volcanic rock.
I am mangled in all the worst ways.
My eyes are never wallowing pools of crystal clear waters nor murky puddles of mud.
They are despair upon despair.