Can I be honest?
I don't want to be bitter.
But what can I do when the person you look to for guidance is never there when you need them?
All your life.
I want to forgive.
I have been trying.
And yet the father figure was always lacking when it came to the father part.
He was always gone, always working.
I tried to grow close.
Tried to bond.
It was working to some small extent.
Then the divorce came.
All of what I thought I knew came crumbling down.
I'm still not even sure what happened.
The relationship between a father and son grew ever distant.
Now, don't get me wrong.
I am not saying my life has been the worst.
And I am certainly not saying that my life has been the best.
But I am trying so hard not to be bitter.
I just need it to be taken all away.
Lord, just take it all away.
After all that he has put me through, you would think that he would try to reconcile with me.
No.
You would be wrong.
He forces me to spend time with his new family.
Expecting me to get along nice and dandy with them.
News flash.
I hate them.
I don't want to always be bitter towards them all.
Especially my father.
But it would be a bit easier if he even tried to understand.
You know?