i can see myself in these people
these happy ******* people
it is strange but i feel good about it
i am terrified
but growing accustomed
to looking up
to looking ahead
it is strange to be coming back
to these simpler times
these simpler states of being
i am afraid of grasping everything i once had
just to see it leave again
i am afraid of learning how to walk
just to be shoved down again
but i want it
god
do i ******* want it
that cold air without a bite
god
please
please let me have this
i don't know what i'll do with it
the calm
once i have it
but ******
i want it
and i am ready for it
it feels so good to breathe