3:51 A.M.
Still awake
Contemplating
Everything happened so quick
Yet slow at the same time
It’s like I’m still dreaming
I’ll wake up
Eventually
Did I dream up the whole day?
Did I really go out at night
who knows where just to make sure
my friend comes home safe?
Did I really love him?
Did I really see you?
Walking out the door way
Off to the car
Not knowing I was so close
I could just yell your name
I could have had your attention
You could have been mine again
But I didn’t
I was stunned
I hadn’t heard from you in so long
I forgot what you sounded like
I miss your voicemail
Sometime I want to call it when I know you’re asleep
So I can hear your voice
So I can remember
Little memories pop up here and there
I can still smell the smoke from our bonfires
I can still smell the exhaust from your truck
I can still smell the pigs’ ****
I can still smell your coffee in the mornings even though now you sit with no one
I don’t know if you still feel alone….
You were never alone then
You always had me
But you said you were alone
Maybe you were crazy
Maybe you didn’t want to **** her
Maybe I’m crazy
Maybe this is just some twisted fantasy and I’m still sound asleep waiting to get up for another day of school
But that can’t be my reality, right?
You said you were alone so much I believed it
Shocking thing was
You were the one I always had
No matter what I thought you would always have me
I guess I was wrong
Eventually I stopped visiting
I guess that was my fault
Eventually I stopped calling
I guess that was my fault
Eventually I stopped any form of contact with you
That was my fault
I never wanted to let you go
I never planned for it
I did anyways
Now I stay up
4:32 A.M.
Contemplating
Thinking
Did you see me?
Did you recognize me?
Are you having the same feeling right now?
Are you wondering where your little girl went?
Are you wondering why she changed so much that she doesn’t recognize who she is anymore?
Or did you just grab your stuff and go?
Did you even notice me, or did you just hurry up before you were late to work?
I’m sorry this is my fault
I miss you..
Happy Late Father’s Day ...