I'm not going anywhere.
I'm running in circles expecting a different outcome every time.
I try so hard to make myself change yet everything stays the same.
I focus on the negatives but it's hard to focus on the positives when there's not really anything to be positive about.
People love me?
People will miss me if I died?
But I would be dead so none of that would effect me.
What's effecting me right now is what matters to me.
And as of right now, I'm struggling to keep going.
And I really don't care if I died.
And if I knew I wouldn't throw up all of the pills I want to take,
If I knew I would bleed out when I leave a hole in my wrist,
If I had a rope to hang from,
Or a high place to fall,
I would do it.
And I would be gone.
And I wouldn't matter anymore.
None of this would matter anymore.
And people who I know don't give two ***** about me will attend my funeral,
And they will pretend like they're sad.
But none of that would matter because I wouldn't be here.
Because I don't ******* matter.