I miss the addiction of freedom,
When you knew it was time to go home
By the streetlights turning on
Running up the hills and catching lightening bugs
I miss ice cream trucks and
When swimming pools meant
I was picked up and thrown out further by my dad,
Not me doing it for a little boy who doesn't have one
I miss the addiction of summer,
Vacations, camps
And bus rides with secret plans
Watching the stars for the beauty,
Not planes for the unknown
I have lived and died a hundred thousand times
And this time,
This time on the ground,
I don't have the will to get back up
Frostbitten and shaking,
My breath blows smoke and
Smears the stars and just for a moment
I close my eyes and reach out,
Feeling and tasting freedom once again
You would have never left,
You would have cared
In a way no one else does now