All the classic adverts a lot of them are missed Adverts that are made today the producers must be ****** They'reΒ nothing like the classic ads I'm afraid I must resist There isn't any flare or finesse so please would you desist The same adverts are always shown there's no surprise or twist Adverts are not liked these days I hope you get the gist Your all just sitting there with you ***** clutched in your fist Messing up your nice pressed suits with a swift one of the wrist New adverts bore you to tears but it's all that you enlist Cos your making more backhanders it's why you still persist Stop relying on the sponsors we know there **** is kissed And take particular notice of the old ones on this list
A skeleton with video tapes told us how its gonna be Re-record not fade away with Scotch's lifetime guarantee Whiskers was the food of choice according to the stats It was preferred by at least eight out of ten cats Noodle Doodle twisted spaghetti into motor cars and houses He twisted it into butterflies and eek noodle doodle mouse's A hippo made a fruity drink way down in the Congo He danced a dainty tango and a rhino called it Um Bongo There was only one Tea that could make you go OO! Sue Pollard and Frankie Howard found out with Typhoo But those little Tetley Tea Folk know without a doubt That 2000 perforations would let the flavour flood out You knew what to do to put the freshness back Every time you vacuumed and did the Shake and Vac Don't wake up and go to town use the one all over smell Insignia's shampoo and deodorant, aftershave and shower gel Jeremy had a roaring toothache again he liked to many treats he could have had a crocodile smile without eating sweets She was the Right One she would skate to get it there Nicollete Sheridan delivered Martini anytime anyplace anywhere A second class ticket to Dottingham a misunderstanding caper Tunes could make you breath more easily with its Menthol vapour Milk in every half pound one chunk lead to another With a glass and a half for every Dairy Milk lover Muhammad Ali and Benny Hill knew their coming fate They watched out with a Humphrey about, drinking Unigate
If your into protection with your Mate's or a Durex You'd get that rubber feeling during penetrative *** Unless your like Fred Brewster and Geronimo was there A friend that was washable and like an inner tube to wear
A chocolate bar sang about everybody's case of the Fruit and Nut David Rappaport could tell it was Tizer when his eyes where shut Kia Ora's to orangey for crows, it was just for him and his dog Spuds wanted to be Smiths Crisps and not an average Joe Blog Bars Iron Brew from Girders the Scottish people like A second thought at junctions think once think twice think bike You Crossed your heart for a better figure with a Playtex Bra The Renualt Clio had a certain flair for Nicole and Papa Flowers delivered from Interflora making your day bright It was a taste to make you shine ohhh ohhh Vitalite Sainsbury's world war one solders shared and called a truce Maynard's Wine Gums set the juice loose aboot the hoose Why would you have cotton when Galaxy was silk? It was cool for cats when you woke up to Milk The man from Del Monte loved fresh fruit so he said Yes Frosty's where Grrreat, Tony Tiger expected nothing less But Esso was the only petrol with a tiger in the tank A galloping black horse was the icon for Lloyds bank
Its your life with Tampax you jumped around and skated Jack Dee had John Smiths, was his Widget overrated ? Flowers where given on Impulse hoping the ladies dated Mr Soft loved Trebor mints a strange world was created Flake was the Crumbliest chocolate was that understated? Marmite was the kind of spread you loved or even hated Michelin Man was made of tyres he was rubber weighted A family always had there diner, with Oxo it was plated
Castlemain Four X wouldn't give anything else, Australians would preach Unless you where Paul Hogan and Fosters Amber Nectar he would teach But Heineken would refresh the parts other beers could not reach Strongbow was strong straight and true made from apple and not peach Broad at the shoulders slim at the hips Big Bad Dom Domestos Bleach The Jolly Green Giant loved Sweet corn with his ** ** ** speech
Please broadcast something good, instead of all your trash There is No Cornetto's from Italy! none shown from this stash Like Cadburys and Nestle or the robot men from Smash You had a break with Kit Kat and convenient packet mash No Dr Whites ***** Pads I don't mean to sound so brash Where is Castrol GTX or Buzby there's not even a rehash All Gambling and Insurance Ads tying to get our cash No concern about the national debt or any loan backlash
Rolf Harris teaching kids to swim in the water they did love it I bet if they where around today they'd tell old Rolf to shove it I felt sorry for that poor Churchill dog I admired his endurance To put up with Rolfs wobble board that isn't much insurance
Jimmy Saville talked of safety he clunked clicked every trip But Jimmy's mind was somewhere else thinking who he'd like to strip And British Rail where unaware when he was trying not to slip With Jims intent with his Railcard to get you in his grip
You may think its controversial, you may think its the wrong call? I Guarantee the companies thought they where on the ball I bet these ads are a blot and drive them up the wall If they'd have known about these guys they wouldn't feel so small These companies would not have hired Jim or Rolf at all It doesn't matter if they're the ones who are not standing tall
Why cant new adverts be like the old ones that we had? What's happened to production why are they so bad? They are all so boring and there really rather sad None of them are out there that make you feel so glad Why do you insist on showing ones that drive us mad Your viewers are so ******* board more than just a tad everyone is getting annoyed even our mum and dad stop showing the new adverts stop ruining our pad
We don't want life insurance or sponsors for every show We don't want Go Compare adverts, the Gtech can surely go There are no Classic overtones they've lost that certain glow Its boring seeing the same adverts shown in the same row Phone commercials are not wanted it may be quite a blow Loans and expensive Sky packages the people should say no Please would you take some advice stop keeping these in tow And bring back all the classic ads and stop going with the flow