Two parallel pink neon lights
Side by side
With a web of darkness hanging over them.

A herd of foxes
Shooting out of
The embryo of a larger fox

To go home again
What will it mean this time
As my mother stands next to me
Waiting for luggage
Looking me up and down
Rubbing my shoulder
I told my big brother
Tonight on the phone
That sometimes I truly wish
I could have given my parents
The life they wished for me.

Her eyes are blue
I don't care if she talks **** about me mama
Maybe she is a ***** in your eyes
But its papa whose at fault here.

I'll never be the same again
All of these bumps in the road
I think back on
When we would ride in your car papa
Run away to the beach
I'd see you mid way through my run
With your cup of ice
Diet Coke.

Remember when you had me sing karaoke
I begged to
Girls just wanna have fun
I'll never forget
The heightened feeling I felt
As people looked at me
On that stage
Two other teen girls
Next to me.

I thought you loved to take the dogs for a walk
You built up our backyard so much
Like you had every intention to stay
And I didn't get the chance yet
To say it to Blake
But there is something about this whole thing
That doesn't feel like it will stay
Or last.

I looked back at old pictures of you
And mama
The disconnect, the distance
There to be there
Beautiful
And just there.

What was the purpose of it all?
What was the point of feeding each other cake
Surrounded by faces
Rituals
Words spoken into eternity
Only to be forgotten
As older age
Creeps up like a wavering finger
Echoing into the distance
"You never really told me what you want."

What was the stake in it all?

Was it to make us?

Was it to make me.