I had a dream that one day I’d walk down the isle to you. A tear would stream down my face as I made my way to you. I would watch your eyes gleam and see your stunning smile. But I ruined it all. Our future our children of which we won’t have not  a home together not even another laugh. I won’t get to see you wrap your arms around them while your holding my hand; I’d take it all in. So thankful I’d be waking up to you and hearing you breathe making love and sharing our lives but I ruined it all if only I wasn’t me. If only I could disappear.