Sometimes i wish
i could wake up and just forget.
For one day, id like to forget...

To not have to explain why i lash out
To not have to explain why i cant trust you
To not have to explain why i see something or hear something and burst into tears
To not have to explain why when you have feelings for me, i run as far as i can.
To not have to explain why when you give me kindness, i return it with distrust.
To not have to explain why my feelings for you scare me.
To not have to explain that im still stuck in that abuse, that im trapped. Scared all the time.
To not have to explain why i have nightmares, so scared to wake up in that house again.
To not have to explain my personal ache that i cant ever escape, not even in dreams.
To not have to explain that i still remember every little thing.
Every battle fought
Every piece lost
Every tear i shed...
To not have to explain that i am a domestic abuse survivior.