I put on arcade fire and smoke and try to conjur the exact point in time
I became this way.
Right when it all rusted down and snapped and changed everything
inside of me.
I was formed from the salt of an ocean side town.
Rivulets of moon and star caked to the sound of waves,
pallid scape of sands.
It took all I had to not be washed away every night
fantasizing of forgotten wreckage with my soul plummeted deep
never to be recovered
That town stood quavering
listening to the winds change and the insects shift
as if we were all sitting on our last breath of air
From that acquiescence it takes moments like these
to recall how I broke
How I became the sad little girl,
How every granule of salt is still clinging
to the inside of my eyelids,
Asking me to sleep
So I can dream of things out of existence
That make more sense
Than this.