On the outside I look very different
Yet the inside is still the same
I look like I do not care about anything
Even if it is her...
I have made my friends believe so
But deep inside
I know it would break me
If I knew she had been hurt
By a small sting

I look like I do not mind
Whatever causes me pain
Even when I trip over a sharp stone
And shed a lot of blood
I still tell them how it does not hit me at all
But deep inside
I am astonished by my questions
Of how many more marks
My body has to wait for

I look like I do not love
I also look like I would have still lived
If love did not exist
But deep inside
It really triggers me when I see my crush
My feelings get disoriented and I do not concentrate anymore
I always say no to my friends when they tell me
I am dying to meet her
Yet deep inside
It would be my dream come true

I look like I am not in the mood
To play in the rain...
To go to the party
They ask why I don't do recreational activities
I point at my watch
And at my sane mind
Which would not allow me to do such childish things...I tell them
But deep inside
It makes me giggle when my sister watches television
And I hear a cartoon making jokes
Or maybe at night
When nobody sees me,
I search the photos that people do when having fun

I look like I do not exist
No wish, no vision, no dreams
That my life is just that and there
My friends ask me why, I say only God keeps the answers
But deep inside
I want to be a great person
And achieve my dreams like other dreamers do
I also want to explore
And find where my heart's wishes are hidden

I look like I do not need what life has presented me with
My face, my body, my dressing
They always ask me why I pay not much attention to that
Yet at my age it should be my priority
But deep inside
They do not know how many times I have to look at myself
In the mirror before I sleep
What kind of a reflection I want in that mirror...
They do not know how many clothes I changed
To reach that one which they think
Makes my dressing unworthy

I look like I am harsh and heartless
Because at one time I shouted at her
And when she cried...
I did not make a move to go and
Make her tears drain on my shirt
I just left
But deep inside
My friends did not know how guilty and tireless I felt
They could not understand how I just wanted to run, kneel down before her
And beg for pardon
I just could not

I look like a failure
That is what they tell me
Even if they don't spit it on my face
The results (my results)
Always reflect it
But deep inside
They do not know to what extent my struggles are
How best I work...
Sleeping late hours to ensure I grasp something
Running up and down to ensure I catch up with the rest of the runners
Despite my slow nature

I look like I am hopeless
My friends ask me why
Maybe because I don't talk much, I don't ask, I don't consult
But deep inside
They do not know for how long I have waited to prove them wrong
That in every second of my life I have
Been stitching together
My small fabrics of hopelessness
Because I hope that it will one day become hope...
An imperfect hope
That will eventually blossom!