dear the boy I'll never meet,

My head keeps pounding,
constantly thinking of you.

I hope you know every cigarette I've ever smoked was because you made me feel like I needed to.
They calm me down.
I know I shouldn't let them touch the lips yours once kissed,
but in a weird way they give me the same sensation as your nicotine kiss.
A feeling of fake love, unrequited, utterly fake, love.
They create a fake warmth to replace the cold you left.

I am so ******* cold all the time.
Anxiety levels soaring high.
Do you know how hard it is to feel any sort of warmth when you're constantly shaking?

I'm convinced I am not in love with you, merely infatuated.
But *******, I wish you didn't have this effect on me.

I'm so ******* sad.

love, the girl you'll never see.