I’m not the pills I put in my stomach
I’m not the sickeness spilled out on the bathroom floor.
It’s so hard to admit this
But you’ll always deserve more.

I made peace with my deep rooted misery.
Without a leg to stand on
I’m a double amputee.

You look immaculate.
Without blemish on your cheeks.
So immaculate.
A perfect poem, never ending, I could never read.

I’ve been wondering
“What if the wind took me?”
Lost in a “what if a wave swept in and pulled me underneath?
Would it bring relief as it smothered me?
Would I finally be so happy I forget to breath?”

My truest dream,
Who knew you’d give me life
After I waited so long
So long for the death of me?

I’m so happy, to have ever heard you speak my name.
Let’s get lost together.
Our life a perfect picture
Dressed in a silver frame.

You look immaculate.
So immaculate.
If the world split
I’d jump the gaps
Just so I could get to you.

My heads in the clouds
I hope I never come back down.