The definition of insanity
'Doing the same thing repeatly and expecting a different result'
You see I've been stuck in this insane place in my mind
With the same insane reasoning going threw my brain.
Counting calories
Eating
Fast food
And whole milk
Its killing me
Its killing me because I am trying to be better by doing the same thing as always
Im trying to get better by believing maybe someone loves me
I try to get better by hoping bigger is hot
But to me its not
I want to be skinny again
I want to have my face ****** in
It makes me feel beautiful when I get told it's good that i lost all that weight
It makes me feel more secure when people ask me for "my secret"
But lets be honest its not much of a secret when you drop 60+ pounds in a summer.
Its not a secret when you get to school and people ask you why you aren't eating
Its not a secret once you realize it isn't okay and go to get help
But no matter what i still have my calculations of how much an average slice of cheese pizza is in calories
I want to look like the worlds idea of healthy but the only way i get there is from being unhealthy
I wish we could come to the agreement maybe healthy looks different on everyone
And we could drop the sigma on body mass idex