I wrote you letters,
Knowing you would never read them –
But at least it made me feel close to you,
If only for a little while.
A sliver of hope preoccupies me,
telling me that maybe someday you will read them…
Maybe someday you’ll find your way back to me.
Maybe you and I really were meant to be.

I don’t think about you as much anymore --
But I still think about you.
Maybe my heart is finally learning that it can’t break itself
Over and over
As it realizes that you weren’t meant to be mine.

I thought you were…

God seemed to send me so many signs.
Did I make them all up?
Did I want you so badly that I believed every little thing was a leading me to you?
It couldn't have been all in my head.
You felt it too, right?

We shared our darkest secrets,
All the little details,
You seemed to understand me
in the way I have craved to be understood.
Did I make that all up?

And we were always happy.
You made me smile like I never have –
Everyday.
Did I not make you feel that way?

Was this all in my head?

Did I break my own heart with the mere idea of you?
But, oh, I still love the idea of you --  
And me.
I can’t escape this.
No matter how hard I try, I always end up back here;
Clinging to you.

Maybe one day I’ll forget.
You’ll go from a daily thought,
To a monthly one.
I’ll lose the idea of you,
Until I only remember you when a certain song comes on,
Or I remember a joke you told me.

The idea of losing you seems impossible –
every little thing seems to point me back to you.

(a.g.)