If you want to be a great writer only write about writing.
Inhale your own ******* so deeply you can’t breathe.
Then ingest several mountains of a publisher’s *****.

Pretend to read a lot and go ******* all over Europe.
Drink bad wine and socialize with Harvard's yuppies,
and watch mostly 1920’s avant-garde *******.

Always act like your the only center of the cosmos.
Say the same thing fifty times and word it differently.
Make your stuff dull and as hard as my **** to read.

Be subtle like a cat burglar wearing assless chaps.
Sell your off dignity cheap and be free from all shame,
but…..

If your hot (preferably asian) and show me your ****,
You’ll always have a life long reader from me.