If you want to be a great writer only write about writing.
Inhale your own bullshit so deeply you can’t breathe.
Then ingest several mountains of a publisher’s semen.
Pretend to read a lot and go jack off all over Europe.
Drink bad wine and socialize with Harvard's yuppies,
and watch mostly 1920’s avant-garde pornography.
Always act like your the only center of the cosmos.
Say the same thing fifty times and word it differently.
Make your stuff dull and as hard as my dick to read.
Be subtle like a cat burglar wearing assless chaps.
Sell your off dignity cheap and be free from all shame,
but…..
If your hot (preferably asian) and show me your tits,
You’ll always have a life long reader from me.