I'd like to be normal please,
Not having to wonder about what will happen when I leave
Thinking I'll feel trapped again,
Where I won't even be able to do anything.
Nostalgia always envelopes me and mixes with what I want the future to be
But it hurts me and I just have to stop and think,
Because I'm not sure that's attainable anymore.

Then I think I need comfort,
I imagine what could have been
Which is painful too,
But what else can I do?
I try a lot but often I'm too scared to,
Instead I just sit there.
I feel like I don't want to do anything again,
Then I have to move and carry on with the rest of the world.
I seem just fine,
I look the same as I've always been.
It's easy to be overlooked when you never get a second glance,
And if I do then I just look happy,
When really on my own I'm not coping.
I've tried to explain but I can never express all of it,
No one could understand anything
Because it's everything together
When what I have on the inside feels a bit like nothing.