"Time flies"
They say.
We just stand here
And wait--
Wait for our world to change.
"Change is good"
They say.
It's how we become better--
Better than who we used to be--
As if we were never enough.
"Be yourself"
They say
Until they see behind our mask
Until they become afraid
Of our scars,
Of our darkness,
Of our unmasked face.
"Attention seeker"
They say
As if we can't be ourselves,
So we put on a mist.
We can't be ourselves because of the unspoken rules we break.
We can't show our true colors,
So we fake.
"Why don't you tell someone?"
They ask
As if they know how we feel at the end of the day--
As if it truly is that simple,
But they know nothing of reality.
"I'm okay"
We say
To get people off our backs,
To sit by ourselves,
To stand apart,
To allow them to remain blissfully ignorant
So that they will not be afraid.
And while we watch their spirits rise,
We fade a smile and close our eyes and dream of a place in which we cease to exist.
We can barely even survive
While so easily they seem to live
I can't keep from wondering how our lives would have been different if both of our "kind" were born separate.
We paint a picture in our minds that perhaps if we talked to people who could relate, we wouldn't be who we are today.
If we had peaceful nights where we could talk without being afraid,
Maybe we wouldn't hurt so badly,
Maybe we wouldn't have been called all those names,
But right when we feel invisible,
Right when we feel safe,
They **** us again: "Are you okay?"
Every time I hear those words a funny smile instinctly appears on my face.
A smile I have practiced in the mirror nightly.
I smile so innocent,
So pure,
Sometimes I fool even myself,
And as if the only reason I was made was to convince them I have no reason to lie,
My response never changes.