get over what?! my head: my rules, my chronological dissidence: i can repeat these few days as much as i can, or therefore want, which is also a tactic to make all future history of the day-to-day, about as significant as a cockroach playing the violin, and dancing the tango!*

so you just failed your university exams,
your year 3, last ones,
going off to see your grandparents and
plan something...

SLAP!

she invites your back to st. petersburg
and calls you a filthy liar,
in front of her "cousin" -
who is actually her younger brother,
her mum is her older "sister",
and her grandmother is supposedly
her mum...

you know what i've learned?
when a girl slaps you, just once,
and even though she gets ****** 7 times
in a single night,
and ******* every time...

you, slapping yourself 20 times,
punching yourself 10 times till your
knuckle bruises -
and having a tender tear while watching
a cat sleep in your bed...

those 20 slaps and those 10 punches
feel less painful,
than that one slap, and that one
accusation of lying;
   *****: i just failed my exams,
can i have a time to think?!

      nothing comes around as a bad
as a slap from a lover...
**** me, punch yourself 50 times,
that one slap will sting worse than
those plum knuckles...

          baby, for all the pleasure
that i gave you, you repay me with that?!
i'd rather keep a rabid dog that bites me
and i start frothing at the mouth...
the next ****** that slept with her
finally saw past the facade -
   when i visited her while she was
sitting silently psychotic with
slits to her hands... he wasn't around,
then i saw a picture once i left:
scared & disorientated like a ******* squirrel...

nervously twitching with the words:
bag of nuts, bag of nuts, bag of nuts...
bag of nuts...
          
   i laugh, but it's not funny...
a slap from a lover doesn't even compare
with the pain,
  even if you slapped yourself 20 times,
and punched yourself 10 times...
     that fraction of a 30th still counts...

of course i'm not a saint,
but i also wasn't the one trying to sneak
into this world a toddler -
in a bribe like fashion...
       next time you see my sneaking
something into this world,
will be a chili **** carne -
     inside a soggy burrito...

      at least dump me once i have a job,
rather than before i have one...
  ah... you know those russian women:
they really are a doll inside 20 other babushkas...
much more invigorating watching
seals clap.