the clock ticks on
and the night lays
like a black sheet
over my head.
stars barely there
in the midst of dust
and light from the
massive skyscrapers
and flashing signals
of restaurants, bars,
smokey rooms, and
singing clubs with
***** stairs leading
the way to their
openings.

25 in Seoul.

25 years i have been
here on this earth
and this moment i'm
in feels as if it is truly
one i haven't lived
into yet
i'm struggling to breathe
clean air into my lungs
mentally i'm feeling
the most blocked
and unsure of myself
as i ever have before
and yet,
somehow and someway
i'm completely ok with this.
this quarter-life mark
this brand of a new generation
of self and self-renewal
is being burned into me
my mortality once again
staring me in the face
of course, i could die
tomorrow but i always
hope that's not the case...
and yet, here it is. 25.
right here, staring at me.
what do i do with you?
what do i do with this
life i've been given?
yet another year has passed
and i'm so different
and will continue to
become different
so what's the point then?
questions remain
unanswered as i lay
in solitude in my empty
bed in my empty room
with my empty mind
and empty hands.
what will 25 bring
and what will i bring
to 25?
hopefully a little less
emptiness
and hopefully
a whole lot of restoration
to the heart that i've
beaten black and blue
on the course
of self-destruction.

25 in Seoul.
Who would have ever known?
I open myself to change.