I never wanted to be back here,
Never wanted to be back in this place
Where I know I only have one friend,
One person who would notice- let alone care- if I died.
I never wanted to be back here,
To this place where I try to stop telling myself
That I have one support system, comprised of one heartbeat,
And that there is virtually nothing else for me,
No other ways I can affect this world,
No other thing keeping me on earth, tangled in her choke-hold of a grasp
No other person who knows the real me when everyone else only just barely- if at all- realizes that I exist.
I do exist, I promise;
But then again-
I used to promise myself I would never slip into this existence again.
I never wanted to be back here, but I've never controlled my own fate.
I promised myself a lifetime infinitely far from this place but...
Look where I am now.