I used to burn even.

I watched the mutation in horror
in the mirror
what once was smooth has blistered and cracked
what was jet black is a crumpled gray

my personality grew cancers

you don't know how badly i want to join in triumphantly
sing with some passion about something meaningful to me
write something that excites you
pull you in like i used to pull in lovers by the waist

but i found myself shallow
rubbed raw by my own whine
oh, he fell off

now i'm just pulling you into my mess

and i'm not even doing it eloquently

some day i will write something good again
some day i will make masterful music

i just
might have to die first