each year i knew you, you would grow an inch or two
before i knew it you were stretched out
130 lbs? 5'10?
i forget
skin bones and flesh

somehow we gravitated toward each other
we recognized one another in our auras
maybe
you were the first friend
i could openly talk to about my sickness
and you could talk to me about yours

you fell in love with me
thinking your love could save me
any positive emotion you felt
you channeled to me
but i didn't see you that way
i knew too much about you

one day i had an anxiety attack
you walked almost 2 miles to see me
you didn't have a car then
you sat with me in silence
while i softly cried
until i could fall asleep
and you would walk 2 miles back to your place

in that moment i felt embarrassed
for the first time someone had seen a side of me i kept in control so well
my anxiety irrationally concluded you would think low of me
would never talk to me again
so it deceived me into pushing you away
after that day i ignored or brushed off your calls
your texts
your attempts to see me

a few months later you completely blocked me from your life
and 2 years later you still have that wonderful girlfriend you found
and i can honestly say i'm happy for you
she seems beautiful, nice, lovely, and sane