that first burn of nicotine-laced smoke hits my lungs
like a punch from a heavyweight fighter
i knew i should have told him no
but he offered me one and i reached for the lighter
human beings are addicted
to all the things that **** us
and if they're things that can **** us faster
hell, i think we'd call that a plus
i know i have more vices than virtues
ironic, when my dad is a pastor
but cigarettes are one thing i won't give up
because then i'll have to find a new vice to be my master
it's easy for me to get addicted
easy to form a bad habit
but it's all just a mask for my pain
because at the end of the day, if you map it
out from end to end there's this talent i have
for numbing myself
elegantly self-harming
when in reality all i'm doing is guarding
trying my hardest not to feel
anything that's real
because i'm not sure i could survive getting hurt again
so i dull the pain with the industrial-grade novocaine
of whiskey and cigarettes and sad songs on my guitar
because i know that this is never going to go any farther than where we already are
so sing with me
in sweet harmony
and **** me softly with your smile
as i fall to pieces inside and hide it
behind a beguiling smile