I know

As surely as rivers flow downstream
As Catholic men pray on their knees
As children feel drawn to climb trees--
Surely as the law of grav’ty
As mourners always march grimly
As humans succumb to envy
I guarantee
I am sure to fail.

I feel

As surely as the moon makes tides
As darkness wraps each solemn night
As cataracts steal away eyesight--
Surely as wild deer feel fright
As women succeed out of spite
As lovers always lose in fights
Try as I might
I will disappoint you.