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Sep 2017
I remember the first time we met.

It was a festival. We were crowded
out by breathless bodies bouncing but we rocked the night away.  And I like how your eyes caught me amidst all those blank stares.

It actually started in the train - the
sharp curves of your smile pierced
through the naivety blanketing my
soul. I never breathed so sharply
before. But I didn't mind it.

We were seventeen and all we cared about were loud music and growing up.

Not realising that growing apart is
a part of that - taking up more space
around us as we add more days into
our life till the line between distance
and time becomes blurry. And we
find a home for each other in our
memories.

Naivety got the best of me. I chased
the seasons on southern winds while you
marched on with your soldier heart
searching your true north, saving us
from a civil war. And we parted.

Only to meet again.

And I am glad that we met again because my heart never understood the meaning of pain until I spoke your name.

It took some time for me to realise
that I was in love with you. It wasn't
hesitation. It wasn't fear and it certainly
wasn't doubt.

I couldn't tell the difference between
distance and time. I forgot the time
I made a home for you and I didn't know
time made a home for you while I was
there looking, for you. At you. Looking
into you. I am into you.

I am into you so deep your eyes become
the kiddie pool where I forgot I used
to play. The pool where I learned how
to breathe underwater. Talking to you
is like breathing underwater - I hold my
breath for every word you say. That's
how deep I am into you. That's how I
feel inside every time I'm with you -
Like a kid having the time of his life drifting around in his favourite kiddie pool.

Every girl I have met was a passing
season. I was always caught in the
crosswinds. Love never stayed and
they always came in second. And
I just realized that even after all these years you still came first. Number
one

two

three words that I realized I had always
wanted to say. Words that that we both
knew but I never realized. But you knew.
You always knew. And that realization hit me like a sharp breath. Like how it did back then.

The festival. You are a festival.

Truth be told, I am still deep in the pool of your eyes.

And I am in love with you. And with
great faith, I hope you are too.
Ammar Haziq
Written by
Ammar Haziq  23/M/Kuala Lumpur, MY
(23/M/Kuala Lumpur, MY)   
  441
   Karen
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