Didn't want to go back to the torchure chamber
Monday morning, I am back
"Keynote Speaker" harranges us to be better
at what we do
We are never enough
No one knows what exactly we're doing wrong
but it must be something or we wouldn't be subjected to this
Everyone sits docilely, hands folded
or immersed in a sudden fascination with a muffin
and not enough coffee

Breakout sessions and I feel a zit form on my upper lip
We are taught like we are imbeciles
And then we learn something we didn't know
that contradicts what we've been doing
and I want to contact you, my boss
the man I'm trying to forget to tell you
there is something wrong here
so I do

I succeed in getting the flu and eating every available sweet
On the third day you write back to tell me my concern is nothing
but we will talk soon and I don't want to talk to you
who I am trying to forget
and my nose begins to bleed
in protest of this confinement and frustration.

The fourth day it is over, and I am home with a flu
and a cat I love more than anything who has cancer
and the "expert" writes back and tells me thank you so much for
noticing her mistake but its all the fault of us who don't
understand what we are doing
but she will make it all right
so it is over and you are silent
You who I was trying to forget who I now can't
get off my mind

I reread your e-mail,
look you up on-line and notice
a new picture of you with your wife
clinging to you like a fungus
I check my own old married pictures
and no, I didn't cling to my man's arm that way
hiding behind him like he is my father-protector
trying to become one being like some experimental
modern dance

And I wish you'd worn your ring when
we met a year ago so your sweet flirtations
would have disgusted me, not confused me
and I don't even like you anymore like I
don't even like my mother but
this is so compelling to yearn for
someone who doesn't care at all.
It is a pain that kills me and an ache I crave
and I don't want anymore