and i still miss you
after all this
all the poetry
all the lies
all the hurt
all the nights
thinking about you
thinking about your eyes
and your laugh
god, that laugh.

thinking of how much i got to know you
how hard i fell for you
and how hard i hit the ground when you left.

all the nights
laying awake and thinking
"what happened"
"how did this happen"
"what did i do"
and i ask myself these questions
but it's useless
because after all this time
i don't know what "this" ever was