inside feels like a wild howl
something i cannot really swallow
nor rattle the air
with enough depth nor gravity

muscles seek the configuration
no, they hang loose and wallow
and why don't they dare?
apathy turns my days
wan, sickly shades

when i face myself with the joy of life
when the configuration is found
i feel i have opened the gate of heaven
i am surprised to find
i can sing a beautiful song!

yet
my sob, the deepest well, so't feels
inside my throat, when i cried in jail
her naked, cheating body, steel
when three years have not cooled these tears

american ways of feeling pain
i'll never feel that way again
it's only a life sentence, and
i only love her once.