through my struggles
i attempt To soar
close to the Ground
so I don’t Fall far
And you, my Beeken of Hope
have Failed me
left me to My poetry
alone begging On my Knees
seeking comfort From this Malignant disease
that has Begun to Swallow me
not letting You see my Cards
hiding my Tears behind a Wall of Words
And still you Don’t seem to care
Like I was nothing but a Game to you
A game you played and now you’re through
Now I’m trapped between Whitman and Plath
Trying to escape this World’s wrath
Yet searching for some Reason to stay
Hoping you could Show me the way
Make me feel the way you we used To
Do that Magic thing only you can do
But no that’s Not for you
All you seem to do, my dearest Dope
Is play your foolish jokes
And make this Hell a little worse
And yet I Keep trying
And Wonder if you see me crying
Though I try to stay Composed
But you never seem to follow
Always turn the other way
I listened to everything you said
And always believed your Lies
Whispered upon those Cloudy nights
Thought forever meant forever
Not until you’re through
This is not how I had planned it
No, that’s slipping out of view
Other people’s words highlighted
On a Foreign page
Using others thoughts to wash away the pain
Words of love and loss and joy and pain
Of snow, summer days and spring rain
And these tears, once tears of joy
Quickly becoming tears of Sorrow
At the loss of our planned tomorrow
And memories cut through me
Like shards of Broken glass
Of this Mirrored version of the world
Of the world for us that I created
Of happiness- simply stated
Slicing through this paper girl
Covered in other’s words
Never could speak for myself
Never seemed to be heard
And now these tears are melting this paper skin
Slowly revealing the girl Within
Showing the girl Waiting for the day
The day she finds a reason to stay
But ‘till then I’ll Stretch my paper wings
And Fly away from all these things
But I’d still be a Paper girl
A paper girl caught in the real world
Slowly Tattooing myself in my own verse
Hoping I’m not just making matters worse
And when I get to that place
(that’s not on any Map)
And I never Look back
would you have the guts to Chase me?
and even if you do
Would you have the Guts to face me?
After everything I put you through
How could you? Why would you?
Who are you to even want to?
You who Didn’t turn me away
At the heart of my pain, let me stay
And who is he who Demolished my heart,
Though he Vowed to protect it from the very start
And who are they to ignore me
When I listened to Everything
When I was the one who Wiped the tears away
And how can They, how Can he
Treat me like this?
Like I didn’t make the cut, I’m Not on the list
Like they’re too Good for me now
He’s through so I should just Go away now
But I’m not Though with you
Not until I Figure out what to do
And if These feelings be Unrequited
Be it because you’ve sat and Waited
Or because I couldn’t Take it
now all the Strings have broken
And the air was starting to Choke me
So here I Will say thank you
For showing me I Have a heart
And showing me How it’s broken
And tearing apart this Paper skin
And revealing this Weak girl within
The girl Who wouldn’t Say no to you
Who would do anything you Wanted her to?
Who never wanted to Say goodbye
But they’ve Brought me to The brink,
And rather than let Blood wash the Memories away
I’ll just leave and let Myself fade
And once I’ve Left the memories,
Forgotten what they Mean to me
And I must beg the Question, why do we Care?
What is It that Pollutes our air?
When all love Brings is pain
And After we are Slain
We return to this Petty quest
Like it’s some kind of Test
To see how many Times we can be broken
It’s some Kind of game and souls are the Token
After all, love is just Pain Romanticized
And life just gives the hopeless a place to hide
To justify the Tears we’ve cried
So now I give my Words to you
Because what Else is a Fool to do?


"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."
-The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald)