a surprise packed
into a pack of royals
held knightly between two long fingers,

funny how we both picked up the habit
when the bottom dropped out.

but he's always been balanced
even, even
used to find rhythms
tapped nightly into the back of my held hand

i still feel the pulse
like it could still be springtime
like he might still smile at the thought
of me and God in the same room

like the way he hears things
in his head
i wonder if my voice
was one of them