i’m sorry, love
if you were expecting me to whisper sweetness in your ear
and fall apart in your hands, torn asunder
by the burning, aching love in my chest
then i am not the man you thought i was.

i am biting words and bruising hands
and everything i never wanted to be
truly, love
all i want to be is dust in the wind
my heart can’t take this
there is an ache, to be sure
but it isn’t bittersweet or sentimental and it certainly isn’t beautiful
i hear nothing through the din of snarling and snapping teeth
in the deep dark empty pit of my brain
and though you tell me to drown the foul beast out
to fight him with everything i’ve got
the truth is that i have already been gutted and bled dry
and i have nothing left to give.

i tried, i swear i did
but i am ugly inside, through and through
no matter how much you want me to say i’m not
and i can’t change
              i can’t change
                           i can’t change