I stumble through my words
And I tell you my fictionalized truth

I meant it all but I mean nothing of the sort
I never do.

It was -

The way my chest felt compressed and full
It boiled and ached when you
Kiss me on the cheek.

It didn't feel right, I didn't feel okay.

I didn't know what to do,
So I verbalized my mistakes.

I counted them
Again and again to push you away
Hoping you'd be scared but you
Kept steady, you stayed and stayed.

And all I wanted was for you to leave.
I love better at a distance.