"its like taking your car to the mechanic with a flat tire and it completely breaking down."
Well maybe that's the problem, you only ever saw her as a flat tire.  You choose to be completely unaware of all the damage under the hood.  Just waiting there, deteriorating.  While everyone hopes its the maintenance to the tire that with fix everything.
To only act surprised when it doesn't.  passing the blame to anyone in reach.
You will never look in the rear-view mirror of all that was done.