Nice try.
I find it hilarious that you think you can make me better.
Good joke.
You must like jokes.
You try to make it fun.
Because I’ll do better and work harder and get better grades and honestly I’ll just be perfect if it’s fun.

Does it have to be fun?
Why can’t you just let me hate this on my own?
Why won’t you let me fail?
You have to fail to let me learn.
At least that’s what that big poster on the wall says.
Should I believe that, or you?

At this point I could be talking about synonyms.
Failing and passing.
You and the poster.
Feeling good and feeling like I’m drowning.
I’ve heard you only understand feeling like you’re doing okay if you’ve felt bad.
But doesn’t it work the other way around sometimes?

I feel like I’m drowning and yet the number on the screen says I’m fine.
That number defines me.
I’m not allowed to feel any different.
Not allowed to feel any other emotion.
I can’t be happy, I can’t be sad, I can only be a number on a screen.
Is that really all I am?

You say I should try harder.
Loosen up a little bit.
I shouldn’t fail. There’s no need.
No need to understand human emotion. That wasn’t on your resume.
All I am is a number.
Just a number who can’t do this.