My own mind torments me awake at night
My own flesh wages war against the Spirit inside me.
My past eclipses my future
I cry out to heaven but there is no response
God has not forsaken me though
No, I have forsaken Him
My heart and soul long for His presence
My flesh runs from His Truth
My heart desires His love
But my actions spit on His bloodied face
My will is to do His work
But my nature curses His name
If actions speak louder than words am I truly His follower?
If faith without works is dead than what is works without faith?
I long for a miracle but do I believe it will come?
Is my faith bold and secure?
Or like a ship tossed about on a stormy sea?
Is it unwavering?
Or like a sapling fighting the wind?
I am not worthy to be called a Child of God
I am like trash in the sight of the Almighty
There is nothing I can do to make myself worthy
In Christ alone I find my redemption
In Christ alone I am made clean
Even though I deny Him daily His love for me never changes
Jesus! Make me clean!
Rescue me from my afflictions!
Stand before my accusers and declare me blameless!
Renew my weary spirit
Refresh my strength so that I may do great things in your name
Let all I do be for your glory
Guide all of my steps
Sharpen my mind
Make me aware of the enemies many traps
Lead me out of suffering and into your arms
Replace my anxiety with peace
And my sorrow with joy
Remember me on the day of judgment
Declare me righteous
Usher me into your presence for all eternity!
So that I may worship you forever and be made complete by your love!
Amen