Cold, ice cold
Cloudy skies
Darkness
Snow covered ground
Lifelessness all around me
Then the sun breaks through
One little ray of light
Revealing a beautiful little flower
A speck of life
That has pushed it's way up
Through the icy cover of death
A burst of color that's been there all along
Right in front of me this whole time
Unknown to me until the light broke through
Like it was meant to be
Meant for me
A little flower that has fought it's way to life
You are this flower
Right under my nose
But I was too engulfed in my own despair to notice
Now I see though
That I have been waiting for you
And you have been waiting for me.

Darkness has become my world
It is all that I'm used to
It has made me lonely and cold
Longing for a door to run through

A door I cannot find
One I am unable to open
Haunting my mind
With nothing to put my hope in

I realize my eyes are shut
I slowly open them
Looking, but for what?
Searching with all that I am

I see a light
Just a crack
Something so slight
On the darkness I turn my back

Toward it I stumble
Finally I reach it
A prayer I mumble
It only seemed fit

I open the door
And there you stood
I am lost no more
I've come out of the wood

Hope floods my soul
Hope in life and in love
Burning like a lit coal
A gift from above

Light shines all around
As I step outside
My feet on solid ground
With you I now stride

You show me a path
One narrow and true
Joyfully I laugh
To the darkness I bid adieu

I see clearly now that grace is not a human attribute. 
If any is shown by man its only source is the divine. 
The people whom I've trusted no longer have faith in me. 
Because of one mistake I have been tossed aside. 
While I try and move forward they hold me back. 
Reminding me of my failures. 
Chaining me to them like a prisoner. 
Never letting me get away. 
Always holding me back. 
I used to be at their right hand. 
But now they strike me with their left.
Not physical blows but blows to my heart. 
My hope in them has failed. 
Just as their faith in me has disappeared. 
My only hope and escape is in the cross. 
For just as I receive no grace I desire to give none. 
Again reminding me that grace is not a human attribute. 
But because of the cross I can extend grace where none is deserved. 
I only am capable of this because my hope is not in man but in God.
He gives me the strength to carry on. 
He holds the keys to my chains. 
He frees me from my sins. 
Man is no longer sure of my abilities. 
But I am. 
God is. 
He sets my path before me and leads me through the valley. 
For grace is not a human quality but only an outpouring of the divine.

The sky is dark and gloomy, the air thick hot and most. The only sound that reaches my ears is that of the rain falling softly around me. My only shelter is this old tree under which I sit. It's wide branches and leaves are my only protection from the tears that fall from the sky. it's thick and sturdy trunck guards my back. Oh old and wise tree what would you say if you could speak? What secrets do your roots hold? Perhaps stories of men such as myself searching for shelter. Or of lovers basking in your shade to dodge the heat of the summer sun. Or perhaps more dreadful things, of life and love lost. Have any hung from your branches?  What terrible sights have you seen? Wake o wise tree and share your stories with me. Pass on your knowledge and wisdom. Tell of all the changes you have seen whilst you stood guard of so many years. Speak of your brothers that have fallen or been fell to build homes or fires to keep men warm. None of these seem to be a fitting end for such a noble being. But the tree cannot speak, even if it did I do not know if I would like the things it would say to me. Might it ridicule me for the destruction that my species has caused? Or might it thank me for not cutting it down? For not tearing it's limbs apart. Does it enjoy my company or does it loathe my presence? Either way it cannot say. Thank you tree for your company an your shelter but I must be on my way and continue my journey. Perhaps our paths will meet again someday and I may sit under your branches for a brief rest from life's many troubles.

You think after so long
The pain would be gone

I know you're home with the Father
But I can't say the same for another

Is my sorrow for my own loss?
Or for others who have lost?

For I have hope, but they have none
But who's to really say till judgment day has come

Openly I weep, I don't care who sees
Out in the open my grief brings me to my knees

Some day I will see you again
So I'll press on until then

I wish you were still here
But I celebrate that you are there

Where angela tread and saints sing
"Hosanna in the highest" "Glory to the King"

How beautiful it must be
But I wish you were here with me

One day you will meet me a the gates
On the day that decides our fates

On the day my body goes to the grave
When my spirit soars and my soul is saved

Once again we will meet
And I'll cast my crown at the Fathers feet

Then we will embrace, before any other
A child reunited with his mother.

Im at a crossroads
Not sure which way to go
What lies ahead, who knows?
I feel like a ship tossed to and fro

Death around one corner
Life around the other
To this world I'm a foreigner
In this land I have no father

Which way to go?
What would You have me do?
Tell me, for I don't know
Direct me Lord I need to hear from you.

As I flip through the Scripture
It paints a beautiful picture
Of God and how amazing He is
Listen! To how crazy this is!
All I can do is stand in awe!
Did I say stand?
I meant fall to my knees!
Cause when I look at the trees
Look at the birds
Look at the bees
Look at creation
Nothing but pure adoration
Cause God's so big that He made the stars
Yet He loved us enough to humble Himself to bear our scars
How can I think my failures are to big for Him?
He, who is stronger than the wind!
And still He loves us, yes each one
And He won't stop till His work is done
No, I won't stop till His work is done.

I can hear the enemy pounding at the door of my heart
Scratching, clawing, tearing at it, trying to get in
I see the the darkness closing in all around me
Suffocating me, pushing me towards the brink of destruction
I hear the enemy in my head, whispering in my ear
Telling me I'm no good, I am unclean, I am nothing
I see the people falling, being consumed by the devil
Falling into the awaiting jaws of the beast
I hear the lies being spewed like ***** in every direction
I see a nation being led astray
I hear the enemy
I see death

But Wait!

I hear the enemy turn and run!
Scrambling, crying, screaming to get away
I see the light bursting forth
Pushing me towards salvation
I hear the Lord in my head, declaring triumphantly
Telling me that I am great, I am blameless in Christ, I am everything to Him
I see the Chosen rising up, being protected by God
Diving into his loving arms and His sea of grace
I hear the Truth being proclaimed loudly in the streets
I see a generation seeking God
I hear the Lord
I see life

My own mind torments me awake at night
My own flesh wages war against the Spirit inside me.
My past eclipses my future
I cry out to heaven but there is no response
God has not forsaken me though
No, I have forsaken Him
My heart and soul long for His presence
My flesh runs from His Truth
My heart desires His love
But my actions spit on His bloodied face
My will is to do His work
But my nature curses His name
If actions speak louder than words am I truly His follower?
If faith without works is dead than what is works without faith?
I long for a miracle but do I believe it will come?
Is my faith bold and secure?
Or like a ship tossed about on a stormy sea?
Is it unwavering?
Or like a sapling fighting the wind?
I am not worthy to be called a Child of God
I am like trash in the sight of the Almighty
There is nothing I can do to make myself worthy
In Christ alone I find my redemption
In Christ alone I am made clean
Even though I deny Him daily His love for me never changes
Jesus! Make me clean!
Rescue me from my afflictions!
Stand before my accusers and declare me blameless!
Renew my weary spirit
Refresh my strength so that I may do great things in your name
Let all I do be for your glory
Guide all of my steps
Sharpen my mind
Make me aware of the enemies many traps
Lead me out of suffering and into your arms
Replace my anxiety with peace
And my sorrow with joy
Remember me on the day of judgment
Declare me righteous
Usher me into your presence for all eternity!
So that I may worship you forever and be made complete by your love!
Amen

Lord,
I am lost and can't find myself,
My true self is somewhere walking your straight and narrow path,
But here I am like a scared little boy lost in the woods with no way out.
The wolves closing in around him, around me.
Every now and then I catch a glimps of who I'm supposed to be,
Then like a dream it is gone and I'm left with the version of myself which I hate.
Help! Show me the path that leads me to safety before the enemy devours me!
Save me from myself!
My afflictions are my own fault.
Forgive me Father for I have sinned against You.
My sin is like a veil that covers my eyes,
So I am like a blind man trying to escape a maze.
Forgive me Lord Jesus, remove the veil so that I may see you and your purpose for my life.
Reveal to me your perfect will.
Guide me down the path of righteousness,
So that I may live my life completely for you.
My ways are destructive to me and all who know me.
Your ways are perfect and uplifting.
Make me the man I am supposed to be.
I give all to you for you are my Savior, my rescuer.
All that I have is yours for all I have came from you.
My heart is yours and no one elses.
My body is your temple, send your Spirit to dwell in me
Guide me in every move I make.
Make me selfless, make me like you.
Holy Spirit you are my compass and I will follow wherever you lead,
Jesus I am your disciple and Father I am your child
Forever and ever amen.

Sometimes in life it seems
That we never really are free
We just trade one captive for another
Never truly being released

We fight against what is natural to us
We fight against submission
Even though no matter what we do
It is in submission to something

When will we wake up and see
That it's not about being free
Or about not submitting to anyone or anything
It's not about being in control

It's about WHAT we let control us
It's about WHO or WHAT we are submitting too
It's about WHAT we let take us captive
When will we wake up and see?