Can she have another coffee please?
And fill it to the top
She doesn’t have much milk you see
Yes, up to there, now stop

Can he have that breakfast there?
But change the egg for beans
And swap the bacon for tomato
Are you getting what he means?

He’ll have a sandwich, hold the butter
He’s not allowed much fat
But then he asks for chips
And mayonnaise to go with that

All six of them want carrot cake
But don’t all want to pay
Can I cut a piece in half for them?
If not then they won’t stay

Can she have a salad?
No wait a Cornish pasty
No, hang on, now she wants a cake
And still I don’t get nasty

If it’s not there on the menu
Why do they always ask?
It’s as if just being awkward
Is for them a daily task

I could easily say no each time
Not go that extra mile
But that not how it works here
It’s always service with a smile

The customer is always right
Even when they’re wrong
We keep our smile in place because
They’re never here for long

And so we keep the rictus grin
The smile will never slip
Because without service with a smile
We’d never get a tip.