the ******* doing here?!*

it usually happens with that sort
of italic question...

a 3 year old maine ****
cat, trying to fall asleep in
my bed...

     he's past the 9kg mark of
weight-lifting,
and i'm starting to think
around orientating myself
within the claustro- -phobia
of excuses...

i picked up a dead corpse of a dead
fox once, walked the corpse for
about 3 miles, and threw it into
the bushes once i weighed him...
came up as almost 10kg...

    i was thinking of buying some beers
and going into the brothel
at goodmayes to say hello
to my bulgarian "girlfriend"...

   now i have this feline "love" lazing
in my bed...
so i'm pulling faces,
and he's pulling faces...
          and i want him out of
my bed, and he wants to remain in it...

i've a problem on my hands...
a maine **** ginger,
9kg+ loitering sleepy, feeling funny
in my bed...

    sad as it might sound,
i find it hard sleeping with animals,
which encrusts a follow-up of saying:
should this cat turn into a woman?
i'd find it double the trouble
of falling asleep next to it...

       however sad, however true,
you can only laugh at the reality
of it being managed by counter measures
of: well, i tried my bitterest best,
     i like a comfy bed,
  no point asking for an extra
cushion, in the form of a woman;

i don't want to be a sad loner type in
writing...
i really don't want to be the secondary
inconvenience of the "nice guy"...
i.e.: great father, ****** huspand,
ever-more the ******* lover...
    
               you want a dog, ask me...
i have this 9+ k.g. maine **** "lover"
asking me to lie with him...
          i keep looking at him,
inquiring him: the ******* doing
in my bed?!

       and he replies:
you got something to argue about
with me getting a sun-tan?

it's 2 a.m., if you can pulverise the *******
moon, i can't see how you can turn copper
skinned!

stop being funny... he replies

i reply: stop being a rent "boy"!

       then he replies:
ask me to yawn and meow at the same time,
i ****** know that you can **** and yawn
at the same time...

i say:

              to be honest, arguing with you,
will end up being a chance for admiring the mona lisa
in an electric chair;

call that the electric grin,
    chattering chambers of grease...
the sean connery turkish...
shom-shing short of a shaken, shnot shtirred.