I can act like I'm fine
it's so easy
throw around meaningless words
just say what they want to hear

than I see you
my heart tightens
I can't breathe
I want to run

you stand there
I can't even hold your gaze
so I look around you
anything to focus on

because if our eyes meet
you'll see through me
how your name is permanently stuck in my head
and I torture myself trying to get it out

my hands grasp air
as if searching
for something
anything to hold me up

I can't stop scanning your friends
their faces looking for a grin a snicker
did you tell them
did you sit around joking about me?

Do they all know?
have you convinced them I'm stalking you
told them my secrets
laugh at how I trusted you

I'm still smiling
my mask holds up
refusing to crack
though inside I'm crushed

I won't let you win
I'll always stand strong
even if its all a lie
I'll always smile

I can't let you win
you can't have that satisfaction
if I have hold on to it
into my coffin

As you look away
and I can breathe again
As you walk away
and I can move again

and once again
my world is mine