i was young and
didn't know what i was doing
i made it all mean
nothing
i made it
easy
i let them hold me and then
do what they wanted

and there's this ache
not being able to let you
touch me
you are
the person i want to remember
touching me last

it's like i'm watching you
through a glass window
and i can't feel your warmth
or just
your ******* ******* touch

i want
to feel something

i want
to be clean

you are my ticket
out of here
away from
unwanted memories and
unwanted company

you give me
freedom
i can think clearly
with you
and for those few minutes
or hours
or seconds
depending on the moment
i get to forget
about who they were
and what they did
because all that matters
is right now
and us

and so when i tell you
you don't know
how much you mean to me
it's because you don't

they killed me
and left me laying dead
all used and worn out
and torn
but when i feel
even the slightest sway
of your fingertips
on my cheek
i am alive again
and i feel
as if i never lost anything
or better
like they never even touched me